Michael, Revisionist

I’m not sure if many of you have heard, but when I was a kid, I was a bit of a handful. And I’m being kind. Aside from having too much energy (they call it ‘ADD’ these days), I wasn’t quite clear on the concept of ‘no’. For awhile, my uncle and his two dogs stayed with us. It was a lot of fun having him there, and I wish I was old enough at the time to remember more of it. As I look back, I realize that it must have been difficult for him to be single, living with his sister, her husband, and, worst of all, her little kids. I’m sure I didn’t leave him alone for a minute, because I was enthralled with him, and was always waiting for him to do or say something funny. My pestering was rewarded with valuable life lessons, such as when you’re getting a glass of water from the faucet, if you raise and lower the glass repeatedly, it makes the water come out faster. I believed that one until high school.

Uncle Ron was a very funny guy, not to mention smart and with a quick wit. He was also a product of the sixties and seventies, so many of his comments had some cultural content or reference to them. Being a self-centered kid (as most kids are), my world revolved around five things; me, mine, all mine, not yours, and no. Whenever I would get upset because someone had the audacity to ignore the five most important things in my life, Uncle Ron would break into a Rolling Stones tune called ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’, and keep at it until I either stopped whining or went away.

As we all do, either consciously or unconsciously, I engage in some of the same habits and use some of the same phrases that I heard when I was a kid. As Michael has gotten older and has started to want things, and get upset when he doesn’t get them, I’ve found myself singing that same song to him. He hasn’t really understood WHY he can’t get what he wants, or even why I’m singing a song about it to him.

I had used this method a few times, when, out of the blue, he comes downstairs and tells me that he’s made up a new song. This is nothing unusual, as he is always making up songs about his brother, his dinner, his shoes, or anything that he happens to be engaged in at the moment. His new song this time was ‘You CAN Always Get What You Want’ (emphasis is his). He sang a bit of it, then looked at me for a reaction. I did the parental thing and tried to explain why we can’t always get what we want, but I was actually thinking two other thoughts. One, I was applauding him for being creative and proactive in thinking about and trying to solve his ‘problem’ of not getting what he wants. And two, why didn’t I think of making up that song when I was a kid?!? I guess that’s why they call it evolution. Just think of Michael as Joe v.2.0.


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