Why You Should Always Listen to Your Wife; Part One

About a week ago, I arrived home but wasn’t greeted by my wife with a ‘Hi honey’ or ‘How was your day?’ Instead, I was instantly greeted with a not-so-nice story about how Enzo pooped and peed all over his room. Apparently, Sal had stripped him down, and left him to play naked in his room while she prepared his bath. She returned a few minutes later to find him happily playing in his room, and for good reason. He had relieved himself on the floor. And, now that he was feeling lighter, was looking at books on the floor and singing.

Sal told me this story, and I sympathized, all the while thinking ‘Boy, I sure am glad that wasn’t me.’

Fast forward no more than 48 hours later. It’s evening, Sal is at work, but asked me to bathe Enzo before bed (can you see it coming?). After dinner, I take him upstairs, and clean up his post-dinner poop (as opposed to his pre-dinner, during-dinner, and pre-apparatif poops). I hesitate as I put him on the floor to play, naked, while I go to prepare his bath. Sal’s voice runs through my head in a very movie-flashback kind of way, telling me of poop on the floor. I contemplate putting a diaper on him for the few minutes that I’ll be prepping the bath. But he just pooped not three minutes ago. How could he possibly poop again?

So I chance it, rush to the tub, get the bath water going and return to find that he left me not one, not two, but three gifts on the floor AND his bed (he’s sleeping on his mattress on the floor, in anticipation of transitioning to the car bed – the crib has been dismantled and is ready for transport). And they were soggy and filled with little specs of something red, like peppers or something. He was so excited to see me, he was running around the room, getting dangerously close to stepping in the poop, and I had to practically kick him out of the way as I cleaned it up.

So, the moral is, don’t feed your kids for a few days prior to bath time.


As a side note, I've named this 'Part One', because we all know there will be further instances of this type.


























See, he's all smiles here, but he's really plotting how he can poop on the floor somewhere.