Maple Street's Most Wanted

Our move to Maine came with several shocks to our routines, the ways we’ve been accustomed to doing things. No Panera pumpkin muffins, for example (I’m not sure I’m fully over that one yet). I’ll admit that the biggest adjustments were reserved for Sally, who is now overseeing the lives of two small children, whereas she was previously overseeing the lives of tens of small children-like engineers. Similar? Yes. Requires some adjustment? Absolutely.

I’m sure someone could get the government to pay for some expensive study to research the effects of removing an individual from the corporate environment, and placing them in a house with two human beings who never stop making noise, and very limited adult interaction. In Sally’s case, the ‘local news’ of the office was most immediately missing from her life. The goings on of those around her. Hence, the Maple Street Neighborhood Watch was informally created. Headquarters: our house.

Sal can tell you who drove or walked by when, how fast they were going, if they pulled into someone’s driveway, what they were wearing, and whether they had flossed that morning or not. I would assume that her need to keep up on these issues stems from a lack of ‘local information’ which would normally be generated in the workplace. Now, Sal is by no means a gossip, because she doesn’t spread misinformation, she doesn’t tarnish the names or reputations of others, she doesn’t take joy in others’ misfortune just to satisfy her own need for information. She simply has a desire to be well informed about her environment, which, in this case, is our quiet street. I guess anyone would be similarly interested, if all they had was a 5 year old and a one year old for company. Plus, we're both admitted control and information freaks.

As I often do (only because I love her so much), I tease her when she glances out the window to see what car has gone by. I tell her that when she’s an old woman, she’ll watch America’s Most Wanted and with each criminal, think ‘I’ve seen him before!’, and proceed to call the police to tip them off that Mrs. Margola down the street could, in fact, be Bruce ‘Killer’ Jones, wanted for multiple robberies in Arizona, in disguise.

If you know much about us, you’ll know that Enzo, obviously, spends quite a bit of time with Sal. As in, all the time. Naturally, he will pick up some of her habits and character traits. For example, fill him with sugar, and he won’t stop talking. In this case, he has picked up her tendency to check out what’s going on outside on the street.

I’m sure that someday, these habits will pay off, and Sal will spot someone trying to do something wrong. And then I’ll have to listen to it for the rest of my life. Until then, however, the fun is mine.


Human and canine at 2 o'clock, proceeding at frank speed. Enter that in the log.

Whew! This neighborhood watch thing is exhausting!

...and dismount by licking the couch. Nice.