How To Eat Yogurt

An Essay by Enzo.

First, get yourself situated properly. Use a spoon (or two). Bibs are important, as they will mask how much you’re really spilling until Mom takes it off.

Next, make sure your hair is pretty wild and sticking up in several places. It makes for better photos.

Don’t be afraid to use your hands. It’s only yogurt, anyway. Be sure to touch everything within reach once you have used your hands. Moms love that. (note the hair)

Spoon generous amounts towards your mouth. A 20 to 35% accuracy is just fine. That’s why they made chins. (see above note re: using your hands)

Always remember to smile!

After a few spoonfuls, ask to touch the camera. They usually will laugh at you for asking, but hey, you never know, it might happen.

Don’t be afraid to wipe yogurt anywhere on your body that you can think of, including the forehead. After it dries, it becomes extremely difficult to remove. It will also help Cheerios stick to you (for later snackin').

Wash it all down with a rice cake and a psychotic facial expression! Enjoy!